now i’ve been asked to share my
testimony tonight
and strangely enough i i haven’t done
that for years
i i can’t even recall i think it was
back about 17 years ago the last time i
actually actually remember sharing my
testimony in times square church
there’s so much to say i mean i could
keep you here all night
just sharing the things that god has
done because it has been indeed a
miraculous journey for me
nothing less than miraculous the lord
has
taken me and i often believe it’s
because
he chooses the weak to confound the wise
he takes those things that are nothing
to bring things that
in their own strength think they are
something
to an understanding of how weak all
people really are without god
and in jesus christ and in the power of
the holy spirit we are given a strength
that is not available
to average people i’m sitting at the
table tonight and i say lord
what do i say and my heart’s cry was
just
god let let me be a drink offering that
you can pour out to yourself tonight
because the testimony that any of us
share from this
podium or at any time is not about
ourselves
for left to ourselves all of us would be
nothing all we have
is because of the mercy and the grace
and the goodness of god
we would be reprobates without god we
would be drunks and fornicators some in
this room would have committed suicide
some of you would have lost your minds
marriages would be broken children would
be bruised
and the power of hell would be literally
rampaging all over us
what we have is because of the goodness
of god it’s not because
we deserve it and none of us do what we
do because we
have any characteristic within us that’s
different than anybody else it’s just
simply god’s choice
one time as a young pastor i was
starting to feel a little proud
of myself and in my prayer time i was
saying lord
why did you choose me to be a pastor
it was a young church it was in the
country and it was marginally
i suppose coming into some form of
revival
and i thought god was going to say you
know well you know i looked down and i
just saw such
material to work with i saw such a
wonderful heart
you know what the lord said to me it’s
because i already had a doormat
the position was vacant and i looked and
you just happened to be there
it’s not because any of us are special
it’s not because
and i stand here overwhelmed at what god
has done
i was raised in a french-canadian town
in quebec canada my father
is pure-blooded irish all the way back
to the monkeys as my mother-in-law used
to say
my father is pure-blooded irish
and until he married my mother who’s
french the
the chain of irish lineage was unbroken
in our family and he
i was raised in a in a mining town my
father worked in the copper mine
it was just an average town of of a lot
of people who went to church i i don’t
think i ever met a christian
a bible-believing person in my entire
teenage years
i was very happy as a child and
i remember when i was young i was raised
in a in a catholic church and
i’m not here to beat on any church so
please don’t
take what i share wrongly if you happen
to be catholic here tonight
the catholic church at least there i did
get a knowledge that there was a god
i knew his name was jesus i didn’t know
about the cross i didn’t know anything
personally through it but at least i
knew about some of the things you’ve got
there
and i i do remember
in my childhood this inner knowledge
that there was a god
and i would go out in the swing set i
had a swing set outside and i would
swing as a child i’d probably three
years old four years old and i would
just talk to god now
we were taught to pray certain
repetitious kind of prayers
but i knew that somehow i could just
talk to god
and i could feel him talking to me you
know that quite often you think that the
choice
may not have even been ours it was god’s
and he was always there how many here
tonight can say that
throughout the years the early years of
your life you can remember the whispers
of god you didn’t know what it was but
there seemed to be this whisper always
coming to you but another
life another reason another season
another purpose
i went to school and in the grade school
years i was a real
troublemaker i like to cause trouble i
like to put tax on the floor we had a
particular teacher that spent
all his time walking up and down the
aisle as he taught and i would
i would just be to see how many tax i
could get stuck in his shoes before he
found out what was happening
that kind of thing i spent so much time
outside the principal’s office it’s a
wonder that i ever got any kind of a
diploma
the parent my teachers once asked my
parents if i was on drugs and i was in
grade school because i was so
active
there was a nun though in this school
and she told me one day in grade six she
said carter
jesus told me that he’s going to greatly
use his life
your life for his glory and i remember
looking at her like
first of all i don’t really get who
jesus is and number two
i thought this lady just lived on
another planet and she said i don’t care
what people say she said the other nuns
tell me i’m crazy
to feel this way but she said i know
what jesus
has told me she said if you had any idea
what god was going to do through your
life
and although at the time i couldn’t
comprehend it i never forgot it and when
i did get saved when i did give my life
to christ she was the first person i
called
at that time she was in a senior’s home
in montreal canada and i called her and
i said you remember me
i was the boy from grade six seven and
eight that you kept telling that jesus
was going to use my life i said well
i’ve just given my life to jesus christ
and she said only one thing to me make
sure you go to church
make sure you fellowship make sure make
sure
that you don’t let what’s come into your
life slip through your fingers
now some people i know some people have
problems with the fact that she was a
nun but
i don’t no matter what the environment
there are there are ways that people can
find god even in the midst of it it
doesn’t validate
a particular religion but god is big
enough to reach people where they are
the searching heart can find him and
there’s no way that
particular lady could have known that
god was going to use my life unless
jesus himself had spoken to her heart
about it so with me it’s not really an
issue
about these things my grandfather was a
judge
and because the world war ii came along
my father was denied an education
and being denied an education it was a
great great loss in his life and i was
his firstborn son so after the war
he started to essentially live his life
through me
i was going to be the lawyer in the
family i was going to be the one that
fulfilled everything that was denied him
because of the economy because of the
circumstance that came into the world at
that time
and a pressure was put upon me to
succeed
and i was given the sense and the
impression
in my heart that if i if i failed to
succeed what was
that what was put before me that my life
would be a failure it would be a waste
and so on one hand this is tremendous
pressure to succeed and on the other
hand there’s the sense that i’m not
going to be able to achieve
what’s put before me and at the age of
15 the two met and just simply
imploded in my heart and i began to
suffer what is called panic attacks
if you’ve never had one let me tell you
it’s the nearest thing to hell on earth
that you will ever experience
in your lifetime these bouts of darkness
come upon you as if there’s no hope
for tomorrow your heart begins to pound
within your chest and you feel like
you’re going to die you get afraid to
leave the house
i got to the point where i was afraid to
get on a bus i was afraid to walk into a
room with
five people lest they should fix their
attention on me
and a panic attack would happen in my
life twice i was taken
from classrooms once from a classroom
once from a university dormitory
to the hospital because of the severity
of the panic attacks
that came into my life once the nurse
took my blood pressure
dropped the machine on the floor ran out
of the emergency to get a doctor
fearing that i would die of a heart
attack
on the hospital gurney so i do know what
fear is all about
i suffered these attacks from the time i
was 15 until the time i was 24 years of
age
i went to university i studied i got
an undergraduate degree
but in order to go to class at
university i had to take so many
tranquilizers that i literally lived
under water i felt like i was in a glass
bubble everywhere i walked
i could hardly talk i’d have so many
tranquilizers it was a miracle i could
even study
or get through those university years i
hated life i hated what
was happening to me and anger began to
come into my heart i hated the injustice
of
having pressure put upon me with no
ability to achieve it
i hated trying to become what other
people thought my life should be all i
ever wanted to be was a motorcycle
mechanic you know that
and yet here i am in university and i’m
studying law and other
topics and i don’t want to be there i
don’t want to do this i’m afraid of the
public i don’t want to
i don’t want to live this way but yet i
did graduate
and after i graduated i just needed a
job because i was i wanted to go to
graduate school i had no money and so i
ended up joining the police department
not because i ever aspired to be a
police officer i just simply needed the
money
i had long hair i was eating crackers at
a bar one day i walked by
this i was eating crackers because i was
hungry i walked by the police department
had a slogan that said if the hatfits
wear it
i walked in i applied they hired me
three weeks later
i’m standing in police college with my
hair cut and somebody standing there
yelling at me about two weeks after that
wondering
what in the world have i done i don’t
even want to be here
you know it was it was it was the hand
of god ultimately because i was learning
discipline you have to know discipline
to walk with god there has to be a
regard for authority
there has to be something that god
begins to work into your life
teresa and i were married at this point
and our marriage was not going well
not because of her because of me i was
angry all the time i drank a lot
i stayed out late i had a very very bad
temper
and it because of that we had a son at
this point
our oldest son who’s now a police
officer in canada
and i i didn’t know how to be a father i
didn’t want to be a father i didn’t want
to be married i didn’t like the way i
was living i just started to
i started to feel a hopelessness about
everything
around me and in the midst of all of
this
i started to get a stirring in my heart
to wonder if there is a god and don’t
ask me where it came from i think it
just has to be god he’s just
simply the same god that whispered to me
when i was a little child is now
whispering to me when i’m 24.
and i’m walking the beat and i remember
walking the beat in ottawa canada one
day and there’s a a church that was open
i don’t know what kind of a church it
was i walked in the door and i sat in
the back and i said hey god
if you are real i sure wouldn’t mind
knowing who you are
i said it out loud you know i mean if
you’d be kind enough
you know if if you’ve chosen to build
all this stuff all over the place could
you kindly tell me who you are
how do we find out who you are and how
do we live for you
our marriage started to get worse and it
was getting to the point where it was
not looking very hopeful and
it came into my heart i said we were
hanging out with a lot of college kids
still and i said theresa we need to
broaden our horizons we need to travel a
little bit
let’s go to europe let’s just backpack
through europe
let’s start in paris let’s go all the
way to greece or turkey let’s just
travel all over the place and
let’s just broaden our thinking a little
bit and she said that’s a good idea so i
got leave of absence from work
and we got our backpacks we got our
eurail pass we got our our plane tickets
and uh the only was only one real
problem in all this i was so
afraid of flying
now theresa had started to go to church
with a couple of friends of hers it was
it was a protestant church on top of
everything else and i didn’t have a
problem with it they started going to
this church a few months before
and i would be heading out to work and i
kind of lived in a blood and guts world
if you understand the world of police
work and i’m heading out the door and
they’ve got a
bible that’s as big as one of the
sections of this platform in the living
room they’re opening this thing and it’s
got pictures in it and they’re
they’re studying the word of god but
none of them know what they’re talking
about like they know that even today
they’ve all got
theories about it’s like trying to
describe an elephant and everybody’s
eyes are closed
everybody’s got a different piece of the
animal trying to describe what god looks
like
it is actually rather humorous to listen
to some of it
and teresa had started going and she
said carter why don’t we just go to
church
before we fly to paris at the the
the bus the the bus station was going to
take us to the airport was like one
block from this church he had been
attending
i didn’t really want to go to church i
didn’t really like church
i i i didn’t see myself fitting into
church church was for a certain kind of
person and i just didn’t fit into that
category of person and i didn’t think
they’d like me and i didn’t like them so
why why bother with the whole exercise
and when i had been young church to me
was just a place where
hypocrites gathered and stopped being
hypocrites for an hour
and then they then they left their
niceness and just went back to hypocrisy
right after they were finished so what’s
the point
of being involved in any of this stuff
but the only reason i went is because i
was so afraid of flying i was so afraid
of flying i thought if the plane crashes
in the middle of the ocean
and i’m standing at saint peter’s gate
as i thought it was at least like
saint peter should say why should i let
you into heaven i could at least say
well
you know i was in church i mean just
just yesterday
so i went to church with theresa and
i’ve had jeans on jean jacket backpack
scruffy looking longer here i hadn’t
shaved for a little while and i’m
sitting in this church and it’s a fairly
affluent church and
i wasn’t very affluent looking or
neither was i very affluent
and we’re sitting there and i didn’t
have a clue what the pastor was talking
about
he’s talking about righteousness the
only righteous i had heard of a singing
group called the righteous brothers one
time
you know you never close your eyes
anymore you know that kind that’s that’s
the righteous brothers and
i had heard of the righteous brothers
and he was talking about and he pointed
to where i was in the balcony and talked
about
the foolishness of being under the law
and i remember thinking what is his
problem with that
i’m a cop like shouldn’t people be under
the law
what’s wrong with this guy and i didn’t
understand a word he said but i was very
taken by the the genuineness of the
people they seem to be
very genuine and it’s not something you
just
you felt it in the place the handshakes
were real the smiles were genuine
good to see you and it wasn’t a formula
it was very very very
real and so they passed out a card
and the card you know asked for your
name and address and all that stuff and
then they had some boxes to check you
know one of them was i want a box of
offering envelopes i passed that one by
another one was
i’d like to know what it is to be a
christian and i remember thinking well i
am a christian i’ve always called myself
a critic my baptismal certificate says
i’m a christian
and but i’m not a christian like these
people
are i wonder what they think a christian
is so i
checked it and i put it in the offering
that’s all i put in the offering basket
i think as well that sunday
and we headed off to europe and i
got it in my heart that i’m going to
find god in europe
little did i know i’d be here talking
about god in europe many years later but
i thought i got in my heart we’re going
to find god so we landed in paris
and through almost every country in
europe and we ended up on an island in
greece called eos that’s a long story
but all through europe
i i we would get off the train in the
center of town and i would get a map and
i would
find the churches i said we’re going to
find god and so we started every place
we went
we went to every synagogue every church
everything we could find we’d walk
in i’d look and some of it was beautiful
some of it was ornate some of it
was was really magnificent but i’d walk
in and just no
no no god’s not here
and so finally i got it in my heart that
we we’ve got to see the pope he must
know where god is
yeah theresa just looked and said it’s
true so we got on the plane on the train
we headed for rome we got off the train
in rome went down to the vatican
and then it doesn’t take long to find
out you can’t get a personal audience
for the pope so
we we waited out in saint peter’s square
with about
10 000 other people for the pope to come
out
and finally i was so excited in my heart
finally i’m going to
find out where god is this is an awesome
moment
now he’s way up there i mean he’s way
way up there and the door’s open and he
comes out to the balcony
and he says something in italian
now now i don’t speak italian
and so there’s a tour next to us and the
tour guide happens to be italian in
english so i said to the tour guide i
said
what did he say and the tour guide said
they said he said we meet
we need more churches and i said you got
to be kidding man we need more churches
there’s three hunt and i started yelling
at the guy i said there’s 300 365
churches in rome you know that there are
365 churches in this city alone we don’t
need more churches
we need to know where god is and the guy
goes okay okay okay
so we came back to canada we came back
to canada we flew back and what a
disappointment didn’t find god
and we’re at home about a week or two
when the phone rings the telephone rings
and it’s the pastor the assistant pastor
of that church that we had attended
and he thanked god for faithful men and
women of the lord and he said
i see that you you you checked off and
here you’d like to know what it’s to be
a christian he said would you like us to
send somebody to your house
i remember thinking oh oh goodness
uh you know i had a vision of you know
of a little ladies coming to my house
with a hat and a flower hanging off it
and you know they’re going to tell me
about god you know god is nice and god
is good and
and i didn’t want to be rude and i
thought well i did fill the card out so
okay come to my house
next wednesday hopefully hopefully i
won’t be home
and the following wednesday the doorbell
rings now they don’t know who i am
they don’t know how old i am they never
asked and i never put it on the card
they had a name
a phone number and i checked one box so
they don’t know anything about me
and that the doorbell rings they answer
the door and there’s a six foot two
police officer standing there
and he says to me are you carter
connolly and i said yeah and he said
i’m from the church this particular
church that you attended and i’ve
come here because you asked for somebody
to talk to you about god
and this guy so blew my image of what a
christian was
out of the water he was a a sharp guy he
was a career guy he was
he was intelligent he he was he was just
a really good guy
and he started to tell me what kind of a
person he used to be
and it so intrigued me he said he had
been a drunk and a gambler and a
womanizer and the guy i’m looking at is
everything but what he’s telling me and
it really intrigued me
but i wasn’t willing to take it at face
value
and so he kept coming to my house like
every wednesday for what
two months i guess three months every
wednesday
i so discouraged them that when i got
saved he didn’t believe it
i’d offer him a beer and he’d say what
kind of church you go
you can’t you can’t have a beer like if
everybody everybody drinks the church i
used to go to you know this kind of
thing
and i i i started to really provoke him
in my heart to try to see what this
guy’s made of
is it just a program that he’s
presenting to me or does he really
believe it
is it true or is it a formula am i just
another notch on his belt am i just
somebody to to bring into the folder
does he actually care about me
and what really really touched my heart
is the fact that this man actually cared
about my soul
kept coming to my house kept kept
opening the scriptures to me and finally
provoked me just to read it for myself
and i got into the gospel of john and i
read the gospel of john and when i read
it
i saw it i saw who jesus was
i saw what he did on the cross i saw my
own condition
i saw the fact that he not only died for
me but had the rights to my life
if i am called by his name
and so finally after bantering and
fighting back and forth with the lord it
was may 12
1978 at about 3 40 in the afternoon i
was on my way to work i was in uniform
in my car
driving to the police station finally
i’d come to the end of my road
i couldn’t fight against god any longer
i pulled over on the side of the road
and i said jesus if what this man earth
his name was has told me is the truth if
this is true
then i open my heart and i ask you to
come in and be my lord and my savior
now i didn’t feel anything happen i i
put my car in drive i went and i
finished my
shift at work but as god lives as god
lives
the next morning i woke up and i sat on
the edge of my bed
and i knew i was a different man
if christ
the bible says if christ be any man in
any manner person they’re a new creation
the old things are passed away behold
all things are become new
it doesn’t happen overnight guys so
don’t get discouraged
it’s it’s line by line little by little
step by step brick by brick this new
life
has begun to be built by the power of
god within you so don’t get discouraged
when it doesn’t happen overnight
remember last night we talked about the
fact that your sins are forgiven there’s
your frail your frailties and sins and
failings are not not imputed against you
you’re clean and righteous when you come
to jesus christ and then he begins to
rebuild your life
now begin to go to church i knew nothing
about god but i was so
zealous for the things of god i remember
a new believer’s class
the pastor said to me into the class
and he was teaching in the book of acts
and he said you know
there used to be something called the
baptism of the holy spirit but
after the church the first generation
church it was kind of lost
and i said no it’s not my wife took me
to a charismatic meeting one time and i
said those people
really do love god and they were
speaking in tongues and i thought
he’s going to be so excited it’s like i
i thought he’d feel like
he’d lost his wallet and i found it on
the way home
unfortunately he wasn’t very excited
about it and then
they asked if who can read john 3 16 and
i found it first in the bible i had
and i read it god so loved the world he
gave his only begotten son whoever
believes in him should not perish but
have everlasting life
and he said oh great he said what
translation are you reading from
i thought translation
i don’t even know what that is so i
turned to the front of the bible when i
graduated from police
college they gave every police officer a
bible and in the front of it was a crest
the royal canadian mounted police so i
said it’s the royal canadian mounted
police version
he said i didn’t know they have one and
i said yeah they do i said look
the guy was very good about it and so i
kept on walking with god from there and
and my life began to change
slowly but i was i was ashamed of the
gospel
it was very hard to make the break from
the old friends and
if you’ve ever been in the military a
police service there’s a there’s a huge
pressure to conform there are some some
guys wouldn’t work with me anymore they
were afraid
because i would tell the truth
i wouldn’t beat people there were just
things i wouldn’t do
i did everything by the book and i did
it honestly and treated people as best
as i knew with respect and
it cost me it really cost me at one
point
but i was ashamed now in church i didn’t
mind hello brother god bless you praise
the lord open the hymn book
sing all of the hymns with a fervency
and a passion but then i remember
walking down the street with two of my
buddies one time and here comes
a real vocal christian from my church
and i remember thinking i’m looking for
a manhole that i can climb down to
listen
and one time i walked into a shopping
mall and this
guy met me and he’s a big guy loved god
and he
he put his arms around me he said oh
brother carter and lifted me
off the ground and just held me there
now i’m a cop i’ve got a gun and a
uniform and i’m
just hanging there
and i remember thinking why am i not
free like that
why am i so bound why why don’t i have
that
i am saved i know i’m saved but there’s
there’s got to be more
i can’t seem to get jesus out of my
mouth
and i remember one day i got so mad i
was driving my car down a particular
street and i
punched the steering wheel i was so mad
and i said jesus i’m going to serve you
if it kills me
and i went home and i told my wife i
said i made a vow to god today you’re
not supposed to make vows but i made a
vow i said i’m going to serve you if it
kills me
the next day i went into work and
another christian policeman came to me
and said hey carter we’re going down to
the
jail at such and such a jail to share
about jesus on thursday night he said
would you like to come with us
now there had been a riot there the week
before
and they they had barricaded the doors
and burned mattresses and had been a
real mess
and i said bob if if i go he said if
if there’s a riot i said we’d never get
out of there alive he said i know you
interview out and i remember
i remember that my words came back and i
i thought
god you didn’t have to take me up on it
so soon
and so we we headed out that night we’re
in full uniform we’re we’re not even
going in incognito you can’t even turn
your hat around grab a broom if there’s
a riot you’re just in full
uniform so we’re going into this we’re
going into this prison
and on the way he said i want to stop at
this halfway house not no it’s not it’s
it’s it’s a heavy-duty halfway house
most of the guys in there
have committed major crimes they’re out
on parole
and it’s they’re they found christ in
prison or they say they have found
christ and this is kind of halfway to
reintegration
into society and he said there’s a guy
there
that used to be part of the you we’d
call it in the u.s the hells angels i
don’t know if you’re familiar with that
a motorcycle gang it had a different
name in canada but it’s a chapter
affiliate
of the hell’s angels now i didn’t
believe these guys could be saved
i said there’s just no way in my heart
there’s no way this guy could be a
christian
no way if you knew the initiation rights
they have to go through
the filth the violence and i had had
a really bad experience with the hell’s
angels as a cop
i said there’s just no way any of these
guys could could be a christian
but nevertheless i decided to accompany
him because the halfway house was a
whole lot better than the prison
and we went to this halfway house and
the director of the halfway house said
would you like to
stay and uh we’re we’re going to have a
service tonight would you like to stay
and
testify that’s me to testify and i
thought well
you know it’s the lesser of two evils i
guess to stay here or go to the jail
really i have to be honest that’s the
only reason i stayed there
and the service broke out and i’d never
seen worship like that
i mean these guys were worshiping i mean
their hands are in the air there’s tears
coming down some of their faces
they’re giving glory to god and i’m just
kind of really
tight you know i i can’t really worship
like that
and when the service was over a bunch of
these guys gathered around they said hey
are you filled with the holy spirit
and i said well uh well you know when i
got saved the holy spirit
is given to me and i i guess
and they said but are you filled with
the holy spirit
and i said uh
would you like us to pray for you and i
said no i don’t know and i’m thinking
inside
what’s wrong with you man you’ve been
crying out to god for this kind of
freedom
what’s holding you back from this kind
of freedom so they said would you would
you like us to pray for you now you got
to understand these are
all ex-cons and i’m a cop
i’m got a gun on me and these are all
ex-cons
and they said would you like us to pray
for you we’re going to lay hands on you
and pray for you
and uh finally i said okay all right
pray for me and then two guys went
around behind me and i said get away
from
don’t stand there i said i don’t i don’t
like people behind me
they said well we think we should stand
i said you don’t need to stand behind me
so they said all right have it your way
and so i raised my hands and they began
to pray and they’re all praying in
tongues
i didn’t know what it was but it sure
sounded good and they were all praying
and then the next thing i know
i am flat out on a hardwood floor and i
hit that floor hard but i didn’t feel it
i didn’t feel a thing
and i am speaking in another tongue in
another language
the glory of god it’s it’s odd because
i’m a cop i’m on
duty and i’m on the floor and i’m i’m
speaking in tongues at a whole
how do you explain this and in my mind i
was thinking
what if the chief finds out about this i
mean i i’m in a halfway house laying on
the floor
speaking in a language i don’t know with
a bunch of ex-cons gathered around me
and this happened to me through their
putting their hands on me
how they’re going to lock me up i really
felt they’re going to lock me up if they
ever find out
about this but i went home and and all
the way home i’m praying in tongues and
i’m thinking as i’m driving home
oh this can’t be real this didn’t happen
to me tonight and so
okay it’s not going to happen i made it
all up it’s not going to happen it
opened my mouth in the flood just a
flock
of another language come out of me joy
of christ is
all over me i came home now we’re in a
baptist church you have to understand
and
i came home i opened the door and i said
hey teresa listen to this
and i started to speak in tongues and
then i ran out and i rent we had a farm
a sheep farm at that time
as a hobby and i ran out through the
fields and i was shouting and
dancing and leaping and glorifying god
and my wife was at home saying my
husband has lost his
mind she really did she could tell you
she thought i had gone crazy
and so the following week i said listen
i got to take you
to the place i was and and you got to
get
filled with the holy spirit like i would
and of course it had to happen the same
way
and so we’re driving into town and i
have
theresa tell she could tell it better
than me she said it was such a scary
moment
she said my husband’s got one hand on
the wheel he’s got the other one in the
air and his eyes are closed
he’s driving the car and he’s speaking
in times i don’t recommend that i don’t
recommend that
and so finally i’m just so filled with
god i led 21 people to christ in the
first week
folks i just couldn’t stop speaking
about jesus christ
haven’t since couldn’t stop just like a
torrent
if any man believes on me out of his
belly shall flow
rivers of living water there’s there’s
the flowing that’s supposed to come
from the believer and it’s not us it’s
him
what’s required of us is to let him be
god within us
to let god do what god wants to do
and so we’re driving in and i put my
hand over on top of her head
and i said oh jesus this is flesh of my
flesh and bone of my bone
god what you did for me do for her and
the next thing i notice she’s
melting down off the seat of the car
underneath the dash
it was amazing what happened that night
filled with the holy spirit when we’re
on the way to get filled with the holy
spirit when she gets
filled with the holy spirit in the the
innocency of those days
may i encourage those that are older
christians that you never lose the
simplicity of christ
never lose the joy of that experience of
knowing god
never get stuffy and old and religious
and dead
don’t let it come into your life paul
said to timothy stir up that gift that
is within you
whatever you have to do to stir it up if
you have to
get out to some permits you got to go
with a bunch of young christians out and
evangelize on the street again
whatever you have to do just do it just
don’t don’t let it grow old don’t
just like your marriage don’t let your
marriage go still go out buy some
flowers
get some chocolates go out to dinner
once in a while
yeah you give you get them give me an
old elbow there
you’re looking for a word you got it hey
[Applause]
[Laughter]
don’t feel bad if i was over there i
would have got it too this is a
physician heal myself moment in my life
right now
it has been miraculous
then i came home and this would be the
last part of really what i want to share
i guess
felt one of those panic attacks coming
again
that hell on earth experience
and then i had been reading the bible
where
paul said that we are forgiven
empowered and in christ predetermined
predestined it says in the king james to
to be conformed to the image of god’s
son
and paul makes a phenomenal statement he
says if these things be true if god
before us who can be against us
and i was reading that that day when
this darkness
tried to get ahold of my life again and
i went downstairs into the living room
of my house at midnight
and up to that point years before it
used to be pills and alcohol
and exercise be the three things that
would be part of my life to control
these things
but that night i knew i didn’t have to
live that way anymore
and i prayed out loud i said satan
you taught me everything you’ve got
and i said if god lets you kill me
that’s because he allows it and if he
does i’m going to heaven so it’s win-win
for me
but i’m not living like this anymore you
throw at me everything you’ve got but i
throw at you what i now have and i said
in the name of jesus christ i resist you
and that’s all i said and as god is my
witness
a fire of god touched me from the top of
my head to the soles of my feet and i
was
immediately set free from nine years of
hell
that’s that’s got to be 35 years ago
i have traveled a good part of the world
i’ve preached
in many many places i’ve preached to
large crowds that preached in small
rooms
the lord fills our hearts with his love
and the bible says the perfect love
casts out fear
if if i love you then i will not be
afraid to stand and let god tells you he
loves
tell you he loves you tonight it’s been
an incredible journey we have gone
through the fire
we have gone through the flood and
literally
have gone through the fire we lost our
house one time to fire
we had a young sun burnt quite badly in
the fire
we’ve gone through the fire we’ve gone
through the flood
there have been trials tribulations and
difficulties along the way
but i can say tonight with honesty that
the relationship that god has given us
with himself through jesus christ has
only gotten sweeter as the years go by
we grow in the grace and knowledge of
god
we’re given faith to believe
for the impossible we’ve seen god move
in the miraculous
i know what god can do and my life
is no more than just a testimony of him
there’s no how to i can’t tell you to
take a course or read a book or do
anything that will
help you in the journey i can i can tell
you to trust him and as he opens the
door just go through it
don’t ask questions just go through the
doors that god opens for you
go through humbly he
requires humility for christian growth
be willing to be bendable and change to
be challenged
don’t see any person as insignificant to
god every
every person you will encounter in life
jesus died for that person
there’s no such thing as an
insignificant person in this world
whether they’re lying in their vomit or
they’re a multi-millionaire
they’re both equally precious to god
whether they’re old and wise or young
with no knowledge
god loves them it’s been such a
miraculous journey for me
there’s so many things i could tell you
so many things that god has done so many
doors we’ve gone through so many times
opportunities to talk about actual
miracles that i have seen
but the greatest miracle of all is the
transformed life
hope joy victory strength
the church is supposed to be a witness
of this goodness of god
in the world we’re not called to bring
just a theory about god as wonderful as
those things might be
we’re called to be living witnesses
you shall be living witnesses
of me we’re called to be a living
testimony of the fact that
god is alive the christ has risen from
the dead
my marriage is stronger than it’s ever
been as teresa and i grow older together
it’s amazing how much we now love each
other
and she knows i’m not saying that for
the audience i’ve said it to her the
other night i mean she knows this is
true
i would never stand here and be a fraud
there’d be no point to it
see my sons develop such good character
my daughter works with us
and she’s heads up the medical missions
teams that go into various parts for
destitute
children throughout the world my
son-in-law is in charge of a program
that feeds 50 300 kids every day
see the blessing of the lord all over my
home everywhere i look i just see
the blessing of god now we’ve lost two
homes but the blessing is not about
physical homes the blessing is about the
people inside those homes
i just see the blessing of god
everywhere
i’ve seen god do the miraculous my my
parents my
family more or less rejected me when i
didn’t do what my father thought i
should
do or be he more or less stop speaking
to me civilly
but i prayed for him for 26 years and
god showed me in the word one
commandment honor your father
which is the first commandment with
promise that it may go well with you and
you may live long on the face of the
earth
and so by faith i honored him when it
was not easy
and when he would say something sharp
and critical and hard
i would answer with kindness as a son
who honored his father
and finally when he got sick when he got
cancer a few years ago
i was the only one he would let touch
him of all the family
he smelled so bad that you couldn’t get
the smell off your hands after touching
it
you could wash them for two days and
they would still smell it was a certain
kind of a cancer
that that was just i would take him out
of bed and i would
sit him in front of the toilet and i
would clean
his his body as it needed to be cleaned
he would watch me with my hands filled
with his own excrement on them
i refused to wear a mask because he was
my father
i refused to put gloves on my hands
laid him down in bed and said dad i want
to tell you one more time what it means
to be a christian
and it’s the first time in his life he
listened i only spoke for three minutes
you never overplayed your hand with this
man he was irish you know
and then i went back to new york and the
holy spirit a week later said go now
and see your father. and so i flew back
immediately on a monday morning and i
walked in right into his hospital room
he’s sitting beside the door and i said
dad have you been praying
he said i’ve been praying all week i
said are you ready to pray with me now
he said if you’d like to i’d like to do
that
and so i led him in a sinner’s prayer
from genesis to revelation i want to
make sure this thing is right i’m a
dirty rotten
filthy sinner i can’t save myself and he
repeated
every word my brother who was a drug
addict backed
up into the wall in the hospital slid
down the wall crying
went to bed and didn’t get up for three
days he was so shocked to hear my father
pray those words he is now a believer
and a follower of jesus christ as well
i i led my father to christ
put him back in bed and we had the most
wonderful conversation
that a father and son could ever have
the first time he ever told me he loved
me
the last words he spoke to me is when
you get to heaven i’ll be there
i was so excited that he had come to
christ
this is about three four christmases ago
i walked out of the hospital ran down
the street to my car you would have
thought i lost my mind if you knew me i
was shouting and dancing and crying and
clapping
and you know all of the christmas
decorations were out
and it was like god this is what it’s
all about this is what life is about
this is what your power is all about
this is what it’s about it’s all about
people it’s about souls it’s about
believing you for the impossible it’s
about miracles that only god can do
i was so excited to go back and i was
going to see him that night we had an
hour of fellowship we talked about
heaven we talked about the forgiveness
of sin we
talked about how it feels to be born
again and i was going to go back and
when i went back that night he had
slipped into a coma which he never came
out of
and was gone and when he
had his funeral my sister who hadn’t
spoken to me for 20 years
we went to arrange the funeral i didn’t
really care what they did i didn’t care
if they did a smoking light show it
didn’t matter to me at all
he’s in heaven and i knew it and my
sister told the church authorities
and people my brother will be speaking
at my father’s funeral
it was amazing it was i was stunned
and in it in a catholic church i got to
get up and give the sermon
and tell the people i don’t have to
think i don’t have to hope
i don’t have to wonder i know my father
and it was my whole family was there my
aunts and uncles and cousins i had once
prayed
god help me is there ever a way i can
reach these people
they were all there and i told them
about the blood of jesus christ what god
had done for my father how he had
received him in the last hour
conscious hour of his life there’s so
many stories i could tell you like that
this is a miracle working god this is an
awesome relationship with god
i hope i live long enough to just go
many other places and tell many more
people just really what jesus christ has
done
very real very practical but very
supernatural not
spooky and not stupid just very normal
just very very normal but very
attractive
that’s what jesus was like very
normal he would sit at the table and the
pharisees would accuse him of drinking
and eating with sinners
but very attractive to sinners
that’s what the lord is going to do
in ireland
i would hope tonight that
you would be willing to take whatever
step god is calling you to take
if you’ve lost heart that you’d be
willing to believe again for the empire
you have to start believing for the
impossible that’s where your faith will
be stretched and encouraged
start believing again wherever wherever
you’ve you’ve lost heart
and usually the first place we lose
heart is about ourselves
we somehow just don’t believe that god
could ever use us
but remember i said the first night to
believe that is to not deny
that god is god he can use me
he can use you he can’t give us joy
again he can raise us out of the ashes
he can
give us his life he can make us into
whatever he chooses to make us into he’s
god
you know we’re the only thing in
creation that has the power to say no to
god
god tells the sun to rise does the sun
say no god tells the geese to go
south you don’t hear half of them saying
no
we’ve had a committee meeting and
decided to do it another way
we’re the only thing in god’s creation
that can say no everything just obeys
him
and moves in divine order the only one
who messes the order is you and me
humanity and if we get back to the
places saying i will not resist
god but whatever god is asking of me
that’s what i will do
it starts with forgiveness it starts
with the simple things like
you don’t preach to millions of people
without going through the first
things first there’s forgiveness
of letting people go any grievance or
death that you think that they owe you
let it go
because all all you’re doing you know
people who don’t forgive i was saying to
jerry today people who refuse to forgive
are like a robber who at midnight
goes out with his bag over his shoulder
to steal and then the confusion of
darkness robs his own house
and and when we refuse to forgive we rob
our own house
we’re not hurting anybody else we’re
hurting ourselves
and and restitution is another thing now
i could start telling you
when after i got saved the lord called
me to go back to
a former hells angel member that i had
gotten into a fist fight with outside a
local bar
and asked his forgiveness i mean if i
didn’t know it was god i think it was
insane
to do that to to to make restitution
for things i had done that’s part of the
gospel where it’s possible
to make past wrongs right now it’s not
always possible if you rob like 16 banks
here tonight don’t feel like you’ve got
to go back and
you know you have the money you know
you know what i’m talking about you do
the first things first
and if you’re part of a local church
fellowship then
instead of wanting to stand up and
prophesy every second sunday how about
just being a doorman
how about doing the car how about
cleaning the carpets after the meeting
is over
i used to do that how about stacking the
chairs how about
saying pastor there’s anything i can do
for you
do the first things be faithful in those
things
and it’s the lord who gives the increase
it’s the lord who calls and i i could
tell you how it all happened but we
don’t have time tonight i think i’ve
i’ve exhausted what i need to say but
it’s been a miraculous journey
he called me to preach a man who used to
be afraid of people
i simply stepped out in faith those
first meetings
when they’d be introducing me and i’d be
throwing up
in the bathroom i’d be it were even
worse than that i’d be
so sick inside but i would step out by
faith and the moment i’d open my mouth
the anointing of god would come
you just you just have to do it by faith
and trust god
and he works with our frailty
our lord jesus christ this this whole
week has been about you
it’s been about glorifying you it’s been
about understanding that your banner
over us
is love thank you for being
kind to our weaknesses thank you for not
despising us when we fail
thank you lord that giving us the
understanding that you really are
glorified when the weakest vessels stand
up and
talk about you
would you help us would you help us lord
jesus where we need you
would you give us the strength that we
need
would you help us to to go that extra
mile now
and not draw back you help us to honor
you in this generation
help us to love people help us to
forgive those that have wronged us
help us jesus to be kind
help us lord god in all of these things