“Rejected by Christians” on Your World with Creflo

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my guest today is a young woman who was

forced out of the Christian University

she attended because of a bad decision

to appear in an adult video

she was so discouraged she gave up on

God and moved to California where she

became a very famous adult film star she

remained active in the porn industry and

until a young man convinced her to start

a new life with him so she left that

life behind and all the money that went

with it however her past feels torments

her with feelings of shame and rejection

but most of all because of what happened

to her she feels that God and the church

let her down

you’re going to meet this young woman

right now and we’re going to help her

move beyond her troubled past and help

her regain her faith in God and His

grace I’m crippled Allah and this is

your world

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changing one

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Oh Lord we go

for you

through the trials

Oh

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just gonna

his grace

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my guest today is trying to start a new

life with a boyfriend

and their one-year-old baby away from

the mistakes of her past and the

judgment of the world now would you

please join me in a very warm welcome

Reagan to the show to your world today

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we call it your world because I find it

instructional I find it informative and

I find that it strikes a chord with

people when we allow our guests to take

us into your world let’s start when the

sexual abuse started at age six and walk

us through that so my mom she was she

was a very good mom at the very

beginning but once I was like 6 years

old she started messing around with this

guy and she was like getting really bad

on drugs so my grandparents had took her

to court and from what I was told

whenever I was younger she didn’t want

to take a drug test so she just waived

her rights to me and whenever my mom she

didn’t want me that’s why I feel like

it’s just like why so I would always try

to be with my mom no matter what so when

we I was always taking her side whenever

people would talk about her and say she

was doing all this stuff and she started

dating that guy Jerry and we were

getting to see her

I noticed things weren’t right and he

would be like riding in the car with me

and like he would have his his hand like

in the middle of my thigh and then

you’re like progressed from there like

he would put like porn on in the TV

before school when my mom wasn’t there

like if maybe she had to go to work or

something early and like so he would

play porn when you were about what five

six six or six or seven

I was like probably in first grade he

never like went any further than just

touching me and like making me watch

stuff with him it’s still called abuse

you were far too young to have been put

into situations like that having your

whole mental and spirit open to up to

porn all of that is all events abuse and

I think it’s important for our audience

to recognize what abuse is whether it’s

verbal emotional sexual there had to be

a lot of emotional pressure I want to

even go so far as to say trauma on you

as a six six year old definitely took

away a lot of my childhood because I was

always the one who was trying to make

sure my sister’s like we’re okay she

stayed with him for a very very long

time like she went back and forth with

him no matter what happened she he

abused her she abused him it was never

good it was always very toxic between

them – so how long did the abuse last

with you from six years old – about what

when you were a preteen or what yeah so

it stopped with that whenever my mom got

who might we got taken away from my mom

it was pretty no like nothing for a

while and my half-sisters dad had moved

us to another city we left living with

my grandparents half the time and were

with him for the whole time all of a

sudden in eighth grade I just started

feeling really weird I just remember

like hearing clicks like you know like

whenever you take a picture on your

phone it makes that that shudder noise

then I noticed that he was taking

pictures of me every time I would bend

over or if I was wearing short shorts

and I was doing the dishes I was

cleaning and I told my stepmom like my

dad’s taking pictures of me from behind

and I’m scared of him and he’s been like

coming in my room at night one time at

the old house before we had moved he had

came in from being out at night and I

woke up and he was like on top of me and

I was like dad

he was like oh I thought you were Gina

like saying her name and I told her all

these things as soon as he got home she

told him like this is what Reagan this

is what Reagan is saying you know Reagan

I’m I’m so sorry you had to go through

through that I mean my heart just you

know to hear this story it’s so

disturbing to know you had to go through

it I thank God for His grace that you

made it out but the story goes a little

further now as a result of this well

that went even past that I didn’t get

out of that house until I was 17 well

and it had went further like when she

had told him he took me on a drive in

the truck

and was like like net like nailing me

down like telling me like that like

cussing at me saying all these things

like why would you say all this you know

like hitting me in my forehead with his

fingers and like you know pushing on me

and stuff but I like let it go but then

it went on – I always wanted to be a

bodybuilder and I wanted a

bodybuilding.com account and he’s like

okay well we can make one for you but

I’ll run it because there’s creeps

there’s creeps on there I was like okay

so he had me put on a swimsuit and he

took pictures of me and then that kept

going on and on and on then he would

order outfits off of the internet he’s

like oh I bought this for Gina but I

need you to try it on for me to see if

it fits her and so I would try it on it

but it was lingerie its Gina your mom my

stepmom still Monica yeah and then he

would get me to drink and he would like

tell me oh don’t be a pansy Oh drink

this like you know like pretty much

pressuring me into drinking alcohol to

the point to where I would black out and

I really don’t remember like a lot of

things that happened but it started

going on to him like having me dance for

him and having me give him a lap dances

and like telling me Oh your stepfather

yeah telling me Oh move your hand over

let me see your boobs and I would like

try to make up something and say like no

I don’t know I don’t want to like

they’re ugly like blah blah like say

something Greg let me ask you something

I want to make sure that then I’m

following you no audience following you

you went from your biological mother

back to your father who you later on

found out was not your biological father

yeah so you’re staying with your half

sisters dad yeah and his wife yeah okay

and not your biological mother and

father right I don’t know my biological

dad okay and and this abuse I mean this

this is this is like crazy I mean who

does that that is just so abusive how

did it take you to this point where

you’re going through all of this abuse

and you end up in was it California yeah

so I left his house to live with my

grandparents and I had went to go try

out for the wrestling team at Wayland

Baptist which is the university that I

was going to so now we’re at the

Christian University mm-hmm okay

and I went to try for the team yeah so

you’re wrestling yeah yeah mess with you

yeah and they had let me sign with him

so that summer after my first semester

at Wayland I was being like a promoter

for a club in Dallas just a regular Club

and the owner of the hotel at the Crown

Plaza was hosting this thing called

exotica what I didn’t really know what

that was but it’s like pretty much like

a like I came like a sex convention but

I wasn’t like doing anything I was just

hosting the after parties but they had

put me in another girl into the finals

round of this competition like on the

stage for Miss exotica we were like

dancing and stuff and then like I

crowd-surfed and then I won like five

hundred dollars and there was like a

video of it and when I had went to

school the after that summer had

happened that was like everywhere like

the video yeah and they’re like oh she’s

she’s doing

like Baba and I was like no I’m not like

I didn’t I was just hosting the event

like I didn’t do I don’t do that but

from that event I got like a lot of

people like talking to me and you know

telling me oh we’ll fly you out here and

we’ll pay you so there’s this thing what

it was just a solo thing it was just by

myself not with anybody else and so I

was like okay cool so I went and I did

that that’s when everything went bad

like I didn’t when I had went there I

didn’t know that it was gonna be like

that like I thought it was just gonna be

like maybe just some lingerie and like

no snow Sh no bra or something but it

was like me like he’s like every little

shoot was like more and more him telling

me to do more more stuff and so I don’t

even know like how like the pictures and

anybody like found out only two people

knew about that so it had to be one of

the two who told everybody else that I

would had done this and then it just

like spread like wildfire through the

whole school all the teachers like if I

was missing a class to go do something

it was penalty like all hate like

started I felt like started hating me

like the teachers wouldn’t even look at

me they wouldn’t even talk to me if I

asked for like you know some extra help

or something that is the oh it’s in your

book it’s just started going like that

and so I was just like what’s the point

of even being here like I’m asking for

help like I’m trying to fix my grades

I’m trying to get better with my

relationship with God and everybody’s

just pushing me pushing me out like not

being loving and welcoming and like my

family had found out about me doing that

and obviously they weren’t very happy

about that at all and I had just felt

like a big disappointment and the

opportunity to go to California it came

and I just took it like I left all my

stuff in my dorm room and I packed one

suitcase and I just left and I never

came back you know hearing your story

did you feel hopeless and as a result of

feeling hopeless when this opportunity

to came from California it was like who

cares anyway I might as well go and make

some yeah I felt like a burden to

everybody so I just was like I can just

take care of myself

so what was the thing once you got

involved in in the industry what was the

thing that convinced you that this is

not for me and I need to get out of it

well from like the first the first thing

I did I had like left in that whole

night like I was crying like I was just

like what did I do

like what is wrong to me and like one of

the girls that was in the house I was

staying at she liked me she kind of just

made me feel okay with it she’s just

telling me like people have sex for free

all the time like they go on dates with

people and they have sex with him in

like you’re not doing it for free you’re

you’re getting paid for it so in a way

you’re holding yourself to a higher

standard and what she told me that’s

just kind of attitude that I gained for

it and it was so much deception in that

yeah very much and then it got to a

point where I couldn’t do it and then

feel okay myself so I started drinking

man I was drinking a lot like way too

much for somebody my size at all and I

was starting to Dibble dabble into

cocaine and Molly to make myself feel

happy and to make myself feel good then

I would just cover up all the pain yeah

and then all the money that I was making

I was spending it on like drugs and

alcohol and going out and you know

trying to buy friends pretty much cuz I

knew none these people like me like they

only wanted to party with me like I was

like a good time my kind of person like

nobody really didn’t Lee took the time

to get to know me for me and I guess

that kind of made me even worse like I’m

in this city all by myself like I can’t

go like in my head I was like I can’t go

back home because everybody is just

gonna be ashamed of me like you know and

stuff going on up there

yeah I just was like a lot of times I

would just be in the car just just

crying like what like I just I just kept

saying why like why why why is this why

am I doing this like I was just so

confused and whenever I had met my

baby’s father he was like kind of like

my saving grace like I had been in a

relationship with this person prior

before that and he had like beat me up

really bad you know and so he was like

there he protected me and I was on like

at that time I had was on Molly for like

five days straight like I wouldn’t get

out of his bed I just stayed right there

like just taking it taking it taking it

and he just looked at me and he said you

need like guts and that’s like that’s

you just need a stop and I don’t know

something from him just saying that just

made me like whoa like somebody actually

cares about my well-being like somebody

doesn’t want me to be like a mushroom

and in this bed you know what it was and

that’s what this show is all about it

was God’s grace you could have gone one

day and probably and even been dead with

everything that you’ve gone through

you’ve kind of taken us through this

story and it is a sad one but even in

the midst of everything that you’ve gone

through from six and to that particular

place had been let down at Christian

University and mocked and not gotten the

treatment that Christians should have

given you but the grace of God is God’s

unmerited undeserved favor coming to you

to give you what you didn’t deserve and

Jesus doesn’t condemn us he doesn’t

judge us

he doesn’t say I don’t want anything to

do with you but just right when you

don’t think you deserve anything you see

that saving grace that shows up and says

you know what even though you don’t

deserve it I’m gonna do something good

to you not because you’ve been good

because I’m just good and I want to show

you goodness

you know and that’s the grace of God

yeah that’s the grace of God I got a

question where everything you took us

through you took us on a journey here

what were you searching for well what

was missing what we opened define your

purpose I wanted a purpose I wanted to

know why I was here on the planet yeah

like what’s the point of me being here

does anybody understand what I’m feeling

like can anybody really really love me I

don’t know if he really really people

understood like how sad and angry I was

like I didn’t really talk about it that

much but how much I just didn’t

understand why all the things that

happened to me happen well you know

their basic human needs that every human

needs to have and one of them is to have

an understanding of my significance and

my purpose in life there are lots of

people who are watching this broadcast

right now can relate with you they’re

trying to figure out why am I here yeah

what am I suppose yeah does anybody care

and and I think that’s where we come in

and and really Minister the fact that

you can do a lot of things to try to

find happiness you can people can do a

whole lot of wrong things trying to find

happiness but there’s a place in your

heart that God could only for him to

abide and I believe it all my heart

until we make Jesus the Lord of our

lives we’re never gonna really

experience what real happiness is and I

can assure you that you will put here

for a purpose you were called for a

reason there’s an assignment in the

mission for your life and a lot of times

we have to go through when we don’t know

any better we have to go through rough

patches in life to try to finally get to

that place where we can discover the

will of God for our lives

you are significant to God you are loved

by God

I’m sad to recognize that Christians

that you’ve encountered they had an

opportunity they had an opportunity to

be living epistles an opportunity to

show the love of Jesus Christ his care

and his concern I don’t know what it is

with some Christians we just miss out on

an opportunity I think we have to be

careful this Christians not to become so

self-righteous that we don’t understand

that self-righteousness is

unrighteousness and it’s when you look

at somebody else’s life and you say well

Lisa had done that and you’re comparing

yourself with somebody else’s mistakes

that self-righteousness everybody has an

issue which means we should be very

ready to help minister to someone else

when we see them going through but I

think sometimes Christians come to the

point where I don’t know they become so

judgmental and so self-righteous that

they forget that if it were not for

Jesus we would all be in hell we’re one

Jesus away from being in hell and if you

take Jesus away we all inhale you know

but because Jesus is now involved in the

equation we don’t have to and I am

Telling You you mark my words everything

that you’ve gone through it may sound

and look like a mess but Jesus knows how

to take your mess and turn it into a

masterpiece I believe that I believe

that and the Bible says he that

believeth in him shall not be put to

shame you don’t have to live all of your

life and shame of your past Jesus died

and shed his blood so he can deal with

and forgive you of your past sins your

future sins and your present sins and

here’s the big thing it’s when we don’t

value ourselves it becomes very

difficult for other people to value us

and you have to live with this nobody

has the right to devalue me nobody and

from this point on I want to encourage

you to make that a living part of your

life nobody gets to devalue me I am

valuable and those people who refuse to

value you you don’t need those people in

your life devaluing you

you don’t need your value the value and

it’s not too late you are primed and

ready to receive all that God has to

offer you just waiting on you to say yes

sometimes your pain and your testimony

can be turned around to be used as a

tool to rescue somebody else’s life not

everybody could have gone through what

you’ve gone through but you made it baby

and it didn’t destroyed you it didn’t

destroy you

and so now you have this opportunity to

take what you know now what you’re ready

to take what you know not what you study

the course and thing to take what you

know and we’re conviction and passion

you’ll be able to now come and rescue

people when you were not rescued to be

able to come in and minister to people

when you were not minister to and I’m

believe with all my heart as I sit here

with this wrestler I am prophesying to

you right now that the best is yet to

come the best is yet to come you hear

what I’m saying you’re not just some

nobody that’s just been through a whole

lot of abuse you are a message and you

are a ministry in preparation that will

go and rescue somebody else’s life and I

believe that the grace of God is on your

life and that grace is going to increase

in your life you watch you watch and

watch I will yeah yeah don’t you

appreciate our guest today you know I

talk about the grace of God every week

on this program and there’s nothing you

have done that disqualifies you from

receiving God’s love and the good he has

in store for you no you may not deserve

it I understand that but that’s the

point

grace is God’s unmerited unearned favor

that is extended to you now this could

be the day that you finally stop trying

to justify your actions stop living in

shame and receive grace that God has for

you and that God has waiting

for you before I go I hope you’ll share

your own story with us online at your

world with Creflo calm or stay connected

with me on Facebook Instagram or Twitter

I’ll see you next time right here on

your world as Christians we should

strive to share God’s love and to

everybody we meet and our church and

other Christian institutions should be a

place of safety where those who have

made mistakes can come and experience

the unmerited undeserved favor of God I

believe that God could heal I believe

that God can recover and deliver you I

believe that God can make a way where

there is no way no I want you to notice

something I said that as Christians we

should be ready to minister when we have

that opportunity when the opportunity

comes don’t miss on your opportunity

it’s an opportunity to make a mark that

can never be erased I love you guys see

you next time

no matter what you have done what

mistakes you’ve made or think you’ve

made God’s grace and his forgiveness are

non judgmental and available to you the

moment you ask if you could only start

viewing your past and the past’s of

others through the non-critical lens of

God

you would experience the unmerited an

unlimited favor he has promised for you

today you met Regan who through a

youthful mistake appeared in a

pornographic video instead of receiving

grace those in her Christian community

shunned her but right here on your world

Regan encountered God’s amazing grace

empowering her to leave her past behind

and live out her best future and you can

receive the same experience starting

right now pref law dollar has put

together a collection of materials to

help you receive everything God already

has for you through Jesus first you’ll

get his three CD series

seeing through the lens of God which

will show you how to break away from

traditional judgmental thought and see

yourself and others as God sees you

accepted and forgiven next you’ll also

receive his three CD series

leaving sin behind which will help you

allow yourself to no longer be stuck in

the mistakes of your past and move on to

the path God has for you you are greater

than your sin and these messages will

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right now look at all the people around

us there are also a difference and yet

every one of us is an image bear of God

diversity is normal it is necessary it’s

a cause for celebration prejudice and

discrimination on the other hand is

corrosive it eats away at our

communities and destroys our trust and

respect for one another we are all

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you