The Merry Heart Series is a collection of humorous and heart touching DVD’s containing sermon illustrations that will have you laughing until it hurts! In this clip, Jesse tells the story about the busted pipes under his house. For more information about this product, click the link: http://www.jdm.org/jdmdefault.aspx?ta..
I honestly the Lord wanted me to buy
this home so I bought this nine hundred
and ten foot square house and I
shouldn’t have bought it because the I
remember when I walked through it and I
put my hand on the door and I remember
that Kathy about 35 roaches came out
what oh my I went I am I went I hold my
they wrote City USA and I thought oh man
I must’ve been some dirty people living
this place you can see those roaches
going hey food so boy for two weeks
before I’m moving I’ve sprayed that
house every day walls I mean the floors
there’s no furniture in it nothing I got
and then roaches died but seeing like by
the millions got them all out it was a
house on Pierce now in south Louisiana
you don’t get cold it may freeze but not
very often
so I am the man told me that I bought
the house from he said you might want to
insulate those times I said insulate the
path and I am NOT a mechanical person I
don’t fix thing Kathy is the fixer of
all things something wrong with my
Harley I send it to Kathy dad fix that
Hawk make our no Devils bless key she
likes getting into that stuff I like
watching her
she does a good job on that stuff anyway
a cold snap came in they said run the
water
well we forgot to run the water this is
the first home I’d ever owned in my life
well the next morning we got up turned
on the water nothing and I called my dad
he said your pipe froze boy he said but
they may not have bust it I said what
does this sound under my house he said
they’d bust it I said dad can you come
help and I can’t do it today son I said
dad I’ve never fixed the door I don’t
know how to do that he said well just
heal up the crack go get a joint of pipe
find out what’s busted cut the water off
I said we’re at he said use this in the
front of your house by the street the
main he said sometimes they got valves
and you don’t have to go to the main
valve they may have a valve somewhere
and you cut that off to them and then
you can fix it I said that is 30 degrees
he said welcome to the world I said that
I might the colony that had this wallet
murder neither you’d be surprised what
was under there so I put on my coveralls
I look and there’s a lake water I
thought I said I’m on I’m on I said I
don’t have to drag my body in that water
in mud in this 30 degrees
I said Kathy she said you’re the man of
the house
[Applause]
so I looked and I saw this valve so I
cut the valve off I thought that’s that
valve dad was talking about I looked at
and sure enough man it was a split and
when I cut the water came off so I said
great I went to the store bought the
wrong size kind of pipe
had the wrong time God and I’m full of
mud and you’re laying in that mud and
it’s cold
I mean cold and it’s aggravating and I
don’t know how broke glass gets under
your house everything get under your
house so I’m dragging myself I need to
put and I’m cutting myself and this
spiders everywhere going hi hello you
got to work like this I need some help I
got a break this joint a pipe out I need
a backup
so I say Calvin Galilei why I said I
need some help she said I can’t climb
and eat that house there’s spiders under
there I said they were I felt like some
it was 47 million roaches in it when we
bought it they just moved downstairs she
said I can’t do that I’ve made me mad I
said I need some help she said I can’t
crawl in that house I said why not
she said it’s dirty that’s it
so I can’t do that but I’ll help you how
so I said all right so I’m trying to
back this piece of pipe and I’m getting
mad I’m busting my knuckles it’s cold
Bloods hurt I even reverted to my
Catholic days Jesus Mary Joseph Jacob
Justin and I’m a preacher now you know
but more I’m getting matter cuz I can’t
get the pipe in then it working finally
I see which line is this the cold line
or a hot line and I looked and then I
stupid not that okay that’s where the
hot water yeah okay that’s the car I
said not cafe there’s a
there’s a knob the to knob one on the
left one on the right now I’m having
this through the floor that I’m gonna
need a lay I said don’t touch the left
knob that’s the hot border okay
I said turn on the right knob why well
cuz the cold lines fixed I got it I can
cut it off but the hot lines busted open
now she said okay
and she turned on the lift now hot water
skull and I what what I am being burnt I
am so mad I had a fetch a carnality the
Lord said yes a control yourself I said
you not laying on your back in this mud
with a crazy woman with a hot water I’m
trying to tell me how’s that God I die I
die
finally she said oh I’m sorry I turn the
wrong one I’m sitting in water I’m
serious it’s up to here I’m burnt
there’s spiders looking at me I’m cut on
the back I said got it
come here she comes out and I see her
little head looking it she says Jessie
don’t move I’m thinking god there’s a
snake here
[Applause]
don’t move I could hardly move anyway
and all the while I was on I kept
smelling something terrible she said
don’t move there’s a dead cat by your
head
I leave and there’s a cat with his brain
hanging out right there I go I said grab
it she said I don’t touch dead cash I am
not exert I had a I said woman when I
get out from this house I’m gonna kill
you and I go to your mama’s house and
kill her too I don’t kill everybody that
has the name of Kyra you understand they
I was so mad I said daddy got that cat I
am not touching that she’s arguing I’m
not touching that dad Zagreb push that
cat and I said also they go something
sticks me in the back I go I’ll pull out
this thorn I said what is this she said
oh I flew some cactus underneath the
house cactus a dead cat with brains
hanging out
I’m started with water I had a vet okona
I said I don’t care I come crawling out
that house glass cutting thorns good
scenario I got a dead cat one hand and
I’ve rich then I’m gonna beat my wife
within the next time I come flying out
that house thank God
my next door neighbor says how you doing
preacher
he looked at that he said you know I
wouldn’t touch that dead cat if I was
you
he said what’s the problem
now I had been witnessing to this man I
said he said go ahead cuss if you want
to I won’t tell nobody
his name was mr. Easton that was his
name every time you have a fit of
carnality you can take it to the bank
there gonna be somebody seeing you do it
look at me he said your wife won’t help
you huh
I said how’d you know that he said well
I busted a pipe earlier this morning I
tried to get my wife she wouldn’t do it
neither he said you want me to give you
a hand I said both of them finally got
that thing fixed
but it’s amazing I’m not ready to lose
it here’s a man that I’m witnessing to
here’s a man that tells me that I’m
telling my god Jesus the greatest thing
in the world my god give it the G can
handle anything except for broke pipe
and a dead cat and a disobedient woman
[Applause]
I had a fit of carnality don’t laugh at
me have you had one today or any Oh
intended man she’s listening this up
[Applause]
[Music]
Dennison this is it deck your dine with
the endless office in your mouth
she’s Dennis a dead man coming up the
road Jesse saw him he still won’t close
the door I said grandma which I’ll do it
she said we’re watching television I
said I’m not a boy why you all dressed
up she said they can see us the Mary
Hart series six DVD set order yours
today